Kawen...

It's 26th of Dec..just few more days towards the end and a start of a new year and hopefully some fresh new happy episodes of my life. my weekend filled with a program or shud i put it straight:: kursus kawen..haha..
yup, attended and learned a lot and perhaps ready??? nah...there's still way lots for me before the TRUE day, a wedding is fun for d name, a marriage..not exactly suits me or myself, at d moment at least..frens still take me cam budak2..says them.. the real me is much more..ok la, ade la time yg memg suke merengek, cakap or behave and blh x disamakan ngn my baby niece::ecah??..tapi i know wat it takes to be an adult just dun wanna be and dun have to be..well, not yet i guess..
so, kursus kawen..amek sbb memang xde keje, saje gatal2 nk meramaikan jemaah bakal pengantin..haha..we all took it pun..my frens and i..in fact ade je muke budak2 junior amek..diorang da ade calon or saje nk isi mase..xtau..ikut suke la..yg penting, i went thru it and got my license to get married or is it really dat easy..going through a 2 days course, know a lil bit if not much bout wat it takes to have a well organized and blessful marriage then just marry off ur someone..hmm..wow..dats tough..
seriously..ceramah2 tu memg fun, ustaz2 lawak gile n memg asyik gelak je dgr cite n pengalaman n tips they shared tp ade je contras die..scary gile dgr sal getting pregnant n giving BIRTH!! okay, so i did joke around with frens, saying..hey, i wanna have a baby next year,,tapi slepas dgr ceramah n di beri peluang utk tgk real life videos, which i soo cannot watch, tp budak2 sibuk lak nk describe n mr penceramah duk selamba je bcerite..man, how it really happens is definitely scary..im sorry, i just cant..will i ever find the courage to say yes i wanna be a mum???...insyaAllah, i will tapi tu la...tgk video pun xleh ni nk alami sendiri...hmmm....
pastu ade lak mcm2 cite sal konflik nyer..macam2 sebab remeh n of cos serius reasons yg leh wat kite bubar kawen..call me old fashioned but i seriously believe dat marriage is sacred..ikatan suci between suami n isteri..walau bagaimane care skalipun, they have to make it work for them n their new family..every parties kene amek role msg2 n live happy thru thick n thin..well, there goes d saying...come wat may, we''l be togther kan...so make it happen for it wat we have decided to commit from d moment of akad...
InsyaAllah, bile da sampai jodoh n seru..ade la kot peluang nak rase semua tu..n hopefully i'l make it thru with the one i believe is True for me and my future kids..aminnn...

emm...

last nite tercakap sumthing so very childish yg rase cam nk turn back tyme n erase the words n event.. rase xbest cuz im actually being d not so cool me..its not a big deal pun, why the wat i said and acted like so..where's d remote??? i wanna delete it from me n u...or maybe it's not like what i think it is? it's really is nothing..please..let it be nothing...

i adore ICE CREAM

4th Nov, morning: EOP paper..next:: ice cream hunt at Wangsa Walk..

it turned out, my craving for so many2 days paid off..ice room has the best ice cream in the world..at least i said so n tasted so n felt like so..ngee~ love every bite of it..credit to my dearest roomie, yat..she's d driver n d person responsible for yet another thing for me to crave for d next few years..hehehe

yat sedang merewang mencari atm, yam lak sibuk nk try toilet kat situ..me n yaya, lepak jap..kite pose.. (^_^)

then, order ice cream at ice room, take away cuz xnk mkn kat sushi house tu..perisa yg mnjadi pilihan: peanut for yat, passion fruit for yummy n strawberry for yaya n me..

lunch at A&w with giant bowls of ice room specials for everyone.. it look so pretty n snowy n tasted even better... ~heaven...~

~ fresh strawberry fruit snow ice ~

too bad, yam duk sebelah..finished wit mine, hers into me mouth..besh2...

 

yat n her peanut snow ice..nmpk cam isi ayam pun ade gak...i dun really like peanut, so die punye memg konfem xkena curik...hahaha

off to uia with a full stomach n warm-filled heart.. 

my mum

Mama masuk wad, and I knew bout it only after three days. tu pun sbb kuar ngn my sis n she accidentally said it..mule2 dgr, bengang gile,, how come I wasn't told bout it..I'm her daughter too, I deserve to know..then got a picture from adik ngn mama..muke die sakit sgt, when I text, sjk bile plak ma msk wad..she called n explained that they purposely it hide it from me since I'm in d middle of my final..

~ mira n my mum, she look a lot thinner n very weak..~

Alasan: rejected!! thats explained why I've been so sad these few days..should have known it..tp disbbkan mase tu kat luar, xleh nk tnjk marah or ngs2 ke..wat kool saje..

pastu blk cite ngn ayu..rase nk ngs kat situ jugak,,again I'm being super cool me, whom amazingly can hold my tears..xnk dwell into it, I'm for sure gonna be depressed. Tp pastu memg xleh wat ape sgt n pening je rase..called her twice to check on her..she sounds alright but still...she's in d hospital..there's nothing ok bout dat..

How I wish I could be there and keep her company or take care of her. But it seems lyk everybodys doing well, adik da pandai take charge n msk, papa lak rjn pg bsh sume bj..they shud have done it sooner though..ini tak, sume nk harap mama yg buat then bile da skt2 camni, br ingt nk sumbang tenaga..

" Ya Allah, berilah kekuatan dan kesihatan yg baik untuk ibuku n my whole family. let they be in peace, cucurilah rahmat MU dan jgnlah Engkau tarik nikmat yg telah Kau berikan kpd kami..."

m ~ e ~ u

Mood:: super sedih

Reason:: my precious treasure, my studies n my someone

Options:: tears?? tell?? keep??

Solution:: manifestation of super happy Ellys...

" it'll be gone b4 u knew it "